chillvaquero musing

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Random beauty, inspiration and thoughtfulness from the multiverse and me.

Memorial Day

It was a sunny spring day like today.

A Memorial Day like today that mom died.

It was five am the call came in and I will forever be grateful 

to the hospice woman sitting with her

collected her things

glasses no one would need again.

The call came in and I was ready,

prepared by a dream of mom saying goodbye.

I woke sister up. She had been prepared, too. A dream.

Mom’s phone call on the way out of town, 

just like she always did when leaving on a trip

even though we’ve lived a thousand miles away or more 

and we didn’t talk all that often.

To have one of those calls back,

maybe one when I was annoyed at her calling 

out of the blue.

I know she was in Arizona when daughter was born. 

She always loved the Southwest. 

I think she saw it through Frank Lloyd Wright’s eyes.

She lives through daughter. Granddaughter. 

Finally the grandmother she wanted to be. 

Playing here, on the sunny spring porch.

Sorrowed turned to joy.

— 10 months ago
#memorial day 
"How do I stay open to your shefa? Help me release my old patterns."
Chillvaquero talks to G-d
— 1 year ago
#talktogod 
beingblog:

“I am incapable of conceiving infinity; and yet I do not accept infinity. I want this adventure that is the context of my life to go on without end. I love young people: I want our species to go on in them and I want them to have a better life.”
~Simone de Beauvoir from The Coming of Age
photo by Aya Padrón / Flickr, cc by-nc-nd 2.0

beingblog:

“I am incapable of conceiving infinity; and yet I do not accept infinity. I want this adventure that is the context of my life to go on without end. I love young people: I want our species to go on in them and I want them to have a better life.”

~Simone de Beauvoir from The Coming of Age

photo by Aya Padrón / Flickr, cc by-nc-nd 2.0

— 1 year ago with 47 notes
"

First Fig

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—
It gives a lovely light!

"
Edna St. Vincent Millay
— 1 year ago
"The light belies the bony solidity of the land, playing over it like emotion on a face, and in this the desert is intensely alive, as the apparent mood of mountains changes hourly, as places that are flat and stark at noon fill with shadows and mystery in the evening, as darkness becomes a reservoir from with the eyes drink, as clouds promise rain that comes like passion and leaves like redemption, rain that delivers itself with thunder, with lightning, with a rise of scents in this place so pure that moisture, dust, and the various bushes all have their own smell in the sudden humidity."
A Field Guide to Getting Lost - Rebecca Solnit
— 1 year ago
Fancy iced teas in faraway places make me happy.

Fancy iced teas in faraway places make me happy.

— 1 year ago
Sometimes, cool things come in the mail.

Sometimes, cool things come in the mail.

— 1 year ago
Stone church

Stone church

— 1 year ago
Rainy day commuting blues

Rainy day commuting blues

— 1 year ago
"(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)"
e. e. cummings
— 1 year ago
"the desire to want to escape America is American as you can get."

From David Shields’ NYT review of “The Grey Album,” by Kevin Young

— 1 year ago
What JP might’ve looked like if oldy timey photos were an exact color match… (minus the car)  ;)

What JP might’ve looked like if oldy timey photos were an exact color match… (minus the car) ;)

— 1 year ago
Favorite tree in JP.

Favorite tree in JP.

— 1 year ago